Drinking with Dogs

Dogs, like Hunter S. Thompson's Vegas, love a drunk. Not a sloppy drunk; not the kind of drunk who's wasted to the point of insensibility. That drunk is at best useless to a dog, and at worst concerning. The dog watches him snore and drool, puzzled that he seems to have forgotten that dinnertime was three hours ago. No, the type of drunk a dog loves is maybe a few beers in, jolly, uninhibited, but within reason, markedly more game than normal for such beloved dog sports as "chase me around the sofa for no reason" and "lie on your stomach on the floor giggling like a maniac while I try to lick your face." The wise mentor has become a schoolchild, and the dog, formerly the only such schoolchild in the house, is thrilled. Such behavior isn't, of course, acceptable as the norm, but when it comes as a few hours' respite from an otherwise responsible and healthy dog-human relationship, it doesn't disrupt anyone's routine, and the dog will - have no fear - still respect you in the morning. (The woman you took home from the bar, that's not my area, though. Her, you'll have to work on on your own time.)

"You can say any fool thing to a dog, and the dog will give you this look that says, 'My God, you're right! I never would've thought of that!'"

-Dave Barry