dichotomy.

I love language. I love dogs. I love the feel of mechanical keyboards. I love writing rather than typing. I love vintage Littlest Pet Shop toys. I love my cat. I love squishing into a tiny little cozy ball under my comforter when it's cold out. I love spreading out like melting butter on my sheets when it's hot out. I love to read. I love making schedules. I love to write. I love bourbon. I love oversize blueberry muffins. I love being able to fix computers. I love the hoodie I'm wearing right now, which I recently realized I've had for over ten years. I love pens that write really, really smoothly. I love to shower. I love the smell of my Old Spice deodorant. I love my tattoos.

I hate feeling like I talk too much. I hate it when dogs whine incessantly. I hate that nasty crunchy feeling when crumbs get stuck in a keyboard. I hate when my writing gets spidery and drugged-looking because my wrists are starting to cramp. I hate the fact that I misplaced a giant tub of Littlest Pet Shop toys sometime over the last fifteen years, and might never find it. I hate cat litter stuck to my feet. I hate having to get out of my cozy bed into a freezing apartment. I hate hot nights sweating under the pressure of too many blankets and not enough sleep. I hate bad books. I hate never having enough time. I hate not knowing what to write about. I hate being drunk. I hate the fact that I will never stop worrying about my weight or how much I eat, no matter how wise, trusting, or thin I am. I hate not being able to fix computers. I hate pens that don't have any damn ink in them. I hate being dirty. I hate the fact that the smell of my Old Spice deodorant will never stop reminding me of someone I once adored, who wore the same deodorant as me. I hate my body.

For every action, there is, always has been, and always will be an equal and opposite reaction. The words of love are often simpler, more concise, more acceptable than the words of hate. It's important to acknowledge the existence of both, as denial serves no purpose whatsoever. It's also important to strive to make the first paragraph longer, more detailed, more emotive, and generally of more import than the second.

I will continue to strive.