Cajun Style

19:22

Live tweeting seems to be the new hotness. Live blogging, once so cutting-edge, is now the exclusive domain of journalists and other strange people who somehow got allowed into E3.

Well, speaking as someone who's currently wearing a Justin Timberlake Sexyback 'Club Tour' (unsure what this means) track jacket, I, friends, am bringin' live blogging back.

Pop quiz: this is mostly:

A. An attempt to keep my hands busy with a keyboard instead of grabbing inappropriate butts;

B. A way of drunk-texting the ENTIRE INTERNET instead of just select exes, booty calls, and former managers;

C. Increasingly masturbatory, as I find myself more amusing with every passing beer;

D. All of the above, of course, freaking DUH, it's this one. Pick this one.

19:31

By the way, STATUS UPDATE: I'm on the bus to Nerdy's house right now. Once I'm there, I'm going to ingest several of the beers I'm currently carrying and play "Watermelon Cat" with my godson, who is a cat.

Watermelon Cat is a game where I pick my godson (the cat) up and flip him over and nibble his belly (much like a hairy, reluctantly participatory wedge of delicious watermelon).

19:52

Aaahahahaha... Haha... Hahahaaa... Yep.

20:56

"You guys never saw that Justice League version of the Golden Girls? That's a classic."

Nerdy's made Russian tea cookies, but we're undecided whether we're going to bake them or just eat all the dough because we're adults now goddamn it.

21:41

Not sure how much Chinese food I just ate, but if my body can't handle it, then my body isn't up to the task of being my body.

We're gonna watch Guardians of the Galaxy again pretty soon. I could probably watch that movie until I die. At least until I slip into a coma. Maybe even while I'm in the coma. I'll bet I'd watch it in the coma. Hell yeah.

Crow the Cat is the only cat I've ever met who not only permits belly rubs, she demands them, and delights in their reception.

21:55

Gettin cozy up in here.

23:12

"Let us put MORE of this liquid into our bodies!"

Draxx knows how I plan to spend 2015. And following years, really, until further notice.

Nerdy and I have decided to dress as Bruce Banner and Tony Stark for Halloween this year, in case anyone was wondering. Prepare your trousers well in advance.

The second or third time I saw this movie (Guardians of the Galaxy, which is, BTW, a multi-million-dollar film about the power of friendship) I was in a, how you say, fragile emotional state, and I cried throughout Rocket Raccoon's entire scene at the bar on the planet that's a head. At the time, I think I empathized with Rocket, but since realizing that I'm not, in fact, genetically-modified wildlife, I've realized I actually identify a lot more with Draxx the Destroyer and his near-lethal drunk dial.

00:06

SRS tho, let's all agree that the saddest part of this movie is the part where they break through the blockade, because that's the part where Peter Serafinowicz dies, and fuck THAT.

also, happy 2015 y'all.