Daily.

I don't write enough.

Yesterday I SHIPPED. It was my first Thing that I have Made that shipped! It's all quite delightful, except for the part where I'm pretty sure it needs to be made a hojillion times better. They say, though, that this is normal, for the first time.

You see, I'm at the point right now, with code, where I was at age roughly 16 with sexual intercourse. When I was sixteen, I'd been doin' the horizontal mambo for a little while (yeah, yeah, started early and all that, and no, it wasn't that I was hot, or something - I was just bored and slutty) but somewhere maybe halfway through the year, I hit this perfect sweet spot between pathologically low self-esteem and burning desire to get better at it, and I realized, that A. I had no idea what the fork I was even doing, and B. I wanted absolutely nothing more than I wanted to be ABSOLUTELY.THE.BEST.EVER.AT.THIS.THING.OMG.FOR.SRS.

In the case of sex, as you all know, I became seamlessly amazing at it and I now never make any mistakes during sex or am awkward in any way and I especially don't make lightsaber noises while playing with penises ever. You know that about me. I'm glad we've come to this understanding.

In the case of code, to put it critically... I'unno. If I choose to believe that we as humans can achieve anything we desire with enough hard work and elbow grease, then, yes, I'll probably be as good someday at JavaScript as I am at the no-pants dance (ladies.) If I choose the more sensible approach of believing that we can achieve our desires within certain parameters, and accept mediocrity beyond them, then, congratulations, me, I'm teetering on the brink of Being All I Can Be. A comfortingly morose conclusion, that; and one with which I'm becoming increasingly uncomfortable.

See, I am tired of knowing myself backwards and forwards. I'm tired of being good at and bad at exactly what I always thought and was always told I'd be good and bad at. Heaven forfend - I'm starting to believe I might be approaching a state in which I might be ready to start considering the idea that I'm able to be good at something I fully expected for quite a while to be pretty bad at.

Imagine that.

tl;dr: I am better at fucking than coding, but I'm hoping to continue improving at both, so that one day, I am GODDAMN MIND-BLOWINGLY INCREDIBLE at fucking and pretty good at coding.

Additionally, I have a houseguest right now:

Dat tail wag blur doe.